ANOTHER GIG

She was so bright and informative when she telephoned, how could I resist?

She had heard me speak on ABC radio, was impressed with my ready wit apparently (great!), had subsequently purchased my book Sex in Your Seventies on line, liked what I had to say, and now wondered whether I would be interested in being interviewed on video to assist them in the promotion of their venture, ‘Complete Aged Care Placement Solutions’. It sounded okay to me.

We made an appointment for the two ladies to come to my home, which was not that far from where they lived, in order to make a suitable video. They wanted me to be my usual self, entertaining and lively, something that was different, amusing, not boring. Something that would lift the spirits of aged folk, enable them to think about a lighter subject other than how they were going to survive, and for how long...or other dreary matters that pertain to old age. Yes, I understood. After all, I was old myself! And because the subject of my last book was ‘Sex’, that was what they wanted me to discuss...sort of.

If I could put on a cup of tea, that would be great! Of course I could. I was good at that. So I made a pile of toasted sandwiches after I had made myself as presentable as possible. And waited. Then the phone call came...her teenaged children had been using her new camera and it needed a new something...it was Gold Coast Show Holiday, the shops were closed...should she just come up for a chat? We could do the filming another day. She sounded nice, but I was firm. I had allocated this time in a busy schedule. Could she not obtain the missing link somewhere, perhaps up here on the mountain where it was not a holiday? She would try. Poor girl, she sounded flustered, but I had confidence in her ability to succeed in this matter.

She arrived with husband in tow, who was most obliging in helping her. I liked them immensely. The other lady had health problems, poor dear, and was unable to be there. It did not matter at all really. I knew what to do and could guide her through the procedure. After all, I had had enough experience!

First of all, however, she must sit with us on the verandah and enjoy morning tea and all those delicious sandwiches. Yes, she was ready for a good cuppa’ and I assured her that I wanted it to be good for her, that I wanted her to succeed. I felt she needed assurance, as this was new to her.

But she rigged the camera like an expert and left the rest to me. I knew what my viewers wanted, and gave out with my performance. She didn’t have to ask anything!

They want me to perhaps have a monthly session, each time dealing with a particular subject related to the aging process; not necessarily about sex, but something light-hearted yet pertinent.

What a good idea!